New Apple Iphone, to be marketed for Seniors

Rumsfeld has been an opponent of the iphone since day one calling it at best "A device to make it easier for young people, like Sean Penn, to send each other pictures of their fannies."

But now old Rummy has taken matters into to his own hands. For they last several days Rumsfeld has been getting up at 4 in the morning and marching himself and a camouflaged shopping cart to his local "Best Buy" store. What's in the cart? Rumsfeld calls it the "Rummy," the senior alternative to the iphone. At first glance the Rummy looks like a dell laptop with a cell phone super glued to the back. But on closer inspection it is far worse. "I format the computers so they can't go on the internet, that way there is no risk of getting a young fannie in your e-mail box." Explained Rumsfeld, " also the phone is always on speaker so you always can shout at the same time as not being able to hear the person on the other line." I am proud of that little feature, Rumsfeld exclaimed

Nor Apple, or dell, officially endorse the "Rummy," but that doesn't bother old Rumsfeld. "I stand outside the store for 12 sometimes 15 hours, those guys at Abu Grave can't even take 8 hours of standing." Rumsfeld who gave up sleeping in the late sixties do his anger about "Rock and Roll" spends the rest of his hours driving slowly by Colin Powells house, and working on his German World War 2 replica Tiger tank. The "Rummy" retails for $1,000 dollars, but young people can work it off by doing hard work in Rumsfeld's yard.

Black Dog Press