Huzzah! Microsoft is developing something called a 'manners device' which will automatically silence all phones within an area. The idea is that it will be installed in cinemas internationally, making the world a better place.
Whilst I think it's nothing short of marvellous that Microsoft is developing this technology (and giving it such a British name) I think it may be too little too late. The cinemas I've been in recently don't have a problem with ringtones - people seem to be switching them to slient. The bigger problem is that when they do ring, they answer it.
Justification for the return of capital punishment over the jump...
It might just be my local cinema, filled with kids and other reprobates, but apparently it's acceptable to answer your phone mid-film. Again. And again. Because after all, you've got to let your mother know what time you're coming home. And you've got to be kept up to date on who kissed who behind whoever's back. Obviously.
A manners device is a small step. What we need now is legislation.
1. From this time forth, from now until eternity, it shall be illegal to answer your phone past the commercials. That means you can't answer it during the trailers either, right? I want silence for them, apart from the compulsory murmur into your friend's ear as to whether you want to see that film or not.
2. From this time forth, from now until eternity, you can't text either. I *know* if you're texting because your damn superbright screen lights up the whole of the cinema with an eerie glow. It does nothing to add to the ambiance.
3. From this time forth etc etc, you can not check your phone midway through a film. The one exception to this is if you have a pregnant friend whose due date is imminent, or a relation on their death bed. Evidence of this will have to be shown at the doors of the Odeon.
4. From now, wait until you've left the screening to check how many missed calls you've got. I don't want to see you plummet to your death down the dimly lit steps because you can't wait a minute more to reconnect with the world.
5. Actually, if you're so important that you can't just turn off your phone for a couple of hours, could you wait for it to come out on DVD. Awesome. Thanks.
I might spend this afternoon creating one of those online petitions you can pass on to an MP. I assume this would be directed to the Minister for Culture, Media and Sport. I'll keep you updated.
ShinyShiny
